Ms. Rebel

Hey, it's me again, the rebel girl. Today I'm gonna rant. Again, as usual. So, my bro is about to move to Germany. Oh, great. Now I started to hate myself even more. More and more. Days by days, it'll sum up and one day I'll find myself hating my own reflection in the mirror. Yeah, extremely good. Bloody hell. Mmm, basically I wanted to rant, but it seems like I'll end up banned from here because I'll definitely write down all kinds of strong languages from shit to bloody hell. So, instead of doing that, I think it's better for me to think about something that startled and harass me recently. O my God, it's my past and I'm trying to let go of it. Sometimes, I could feel the pain and everything and it feels like it's just yesterday. I want to let it go. Just let it disappear and let me start my life like it never happened. Well, it'll be much better if it never happened. But it did happen and it keeps haunting me. I felt so sick. I'm do

Hey, I'm back again. I don't know, but it feels like I don't care about anything anymore. Well, if you know what I mean. I stopped to care about my clothes, my body, my family, well, kind of everything. I pissed everybody and started to ruin lots of things and I feel entirely okay. I stopped to care about my grades, homework, jobs, everything. When I knew someone was pissed because of me, I was like, "Oh, so be it. I don't give a shit." I started to piss more people days by days. I don't care about anything anymore. I feel like I'm about to quit school and go to nowhere and start my life all alone. Just by myself. I even start to think that I'm not going to make a family. I feel like I don't want to get married because human is way too complicated. It's easier to live with cats or dogs or even things. I'm so confused about myself and the world surrounded me. I wanted to be an actress, or well, musician or something, but my parents nev

Well, this is just a little bit of my thoughts. I love many guys. Well, I supposed call it "much" instead of "many", though it wouldn't make any sense. But the truth is, well,  much  guys. From the teenagers to their late 60s, from the war hero to the druggies, from the Asia to the Europe, from the actors to the lawyers. I have loved many kinds of guys. I couldn't even keep counting on how much guys I've been had a crush with. But I don't even have a boyfriend. People around me only know that I've got a boyfriend from the Internet. From a chat-to-stranger site. People think I had a half Russian boyfriend, who is so tall, caring, loving, patient, and willing to drove me all around the city. But the truth is, he doesn't even exist. If people are asking, "Then who's the man in your phone?" Oh my God, he's no one. I believe he doesn't even had any idea that I'm exist, because the truth is, I just snapped a picture of

Hey, it's me, Kay the rebel girl. I've made tons of blogs, internet entries, or anything and not much people take a look at it. So here I am, hope nothing about the views of the blog nor what your reaction would be. I just want to say things running in my head. I'm rebellious. I was born as a middle child. Between my siblings, I am that "rebellious yet stubborn" kid. Idk, but I feel like I don't want to have the same thing as my siblings had. I had that different taste of music, different way of seeking some fun, different way to please myself, different meaning about love, and all the stuffs. So, recently, my parents have decided to send me to a boarding school, which my brother graduated from. I passed the test, I got a scholarship to study that without paying anything and yeah, my parents tell me I should get there. Idk, it just doesn't feel good to me. No phone, no internet, no anything. I feel like I'm about to live in the jungle. I think it'